disclaimer
i do as i please

ningen desu

愛好

visual kei~
Mana sama
gothic & lolita
manga & anime ikemen~

嫌悪

pigeons...

願望

-MAC
-lots of vkei posters
-own room
-work in the creative industry (fashion, music, hair & makeup, manga, writer...)
-MANA SAMA~!
-migrate to japan
-EGA & EGL platforms
-closet full of moi meme moitie's, sex pot revenge and etc.
-find my place on earth otherwise go back to saturn with my hubby
-entire collection of junjou romantica~! EEEK! ecchi~

話。。。

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歴史

February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
November 2009
October 2010

today was tiring, had to present, which i didn't really do, then decorate then take it down. wtf.
pretty big shit too. all the people and stuff. then must man this man that. at least we got a merit and earned $25 back divided in half, $12.50. i didn't even think i'd get something out of this crap so i was surprised. yufang got 1st, lucky sio. wanted to skip out on guides after that but got caught and pretty much dragged back. homework not submitted too :X. tomorrow still have shit. shit finish got tuition... sighh. clever bernice purposely sms mum saying she's going home. nice one... *mad*

i & e @ 18:42

annoying a-holes. that's what i'll call my noisy neighbours from now on. the police has come for them. they asked for it. dammit. how do they manage having so much drama all the time. 'you want to kill me ah?' i heard a guy, probably one of the troublemakers say to the, perhaps police. if he had been asking me my answer would be YES because i am eff-ed up with crap. seriously. tomorrow i have to present till late in the evening then clean up then i still have to submit my homework which till now is still undone. how eff-ed up can my life get.

#403 post @ 23:01

today busy whole day doing i & e crap. tired, tired, tired. tomorrow still have. wth. i'm drowning in pressure. sigh, sigh, sigh. tomorrow no classes for me but still must hand in homework. teachers, WHERE IS THE MERCY~

today's food compo has revealed just how much of a glutton i really am. how embarressing.

tired and fedup. @ 18:21

leg hurt this morning. why? scab had formed and was hard and chunky. bent knee made it painful. at least the wonderous discharge is gone.

today L tan flamed us. but i was brave, i fought her and brought her down. no one, no one ever lives to tell their tale once they've even thought of confronting me. no one...

now for some truth. hectic life. lemme see. tomorrow is set up for i & e then friday's the actual thing. tomorrow is reading test. book's not finished. must finish by tonight. i got the ice cream sticks' holes drilled and am proud of my accomplishment. saturday is NGDC. have F have C have K. just need U. dammit. i'd rather be doing phony couch fashion with e4 than retardo game designing which i pretty much didn't do anything about. i'm sorry my group for having to put up with a slacker me.

wound has scab now :D @ 17:02

nyahahahaha. after my bitchin' from yesterday somehow some of 'her' true foulness has leaked. i'm such a pro.

so busy this week. i & e then what chinese tingxie tomorrow then what what what BS... i'm tired. okay? call me ahma whatever. i'm not made for such hectic lifestyle.

today when singapore river. even i;m not sure if it was enjoyable or not... but ice cream was fun but the vulgar bitchin' }some people{ were just incredibly embarressing. lucky not my class and i too realise just how much i would hate getting into such a class. imagine. ... ... ... like my current situation is any good.

i can't help wanting to laugh out loud everytime i see shuanmeng do something silly to tease joel. it's just hilarious and makes you want to laugh along. sighh. if i want to concentrate on my studies i'll have to become blind and deaf to his nonsense... xDDD

the bitch has revealed her true nature~! @ 22:36

cold. cold. cold. thurdays must set up booth for i & e then friday is presentation. one thing i'm looking forward to is skipping out on classes and CHiNESE. have come to fear it? maybe not but not too much of look forward to it because...? because my chinese is no good? not as good as supposed to be? ... ... ... maybe i should drop out on my own.

must do d & t write up before sleeping... i have to remember...

sigh... hopefully i don't forget and cause trouble for sining again. i'm sorry the 'thing' is soo orange too. paiseyy lah. orange is the new black? ^^|||

damn certain bitch. disrespect people's property. lemme tell you, there' two kind of good looking/popular people.

1. supposingly chio to idiots/thinks themself as highly chio + damn bitchy + sucks up whenever supposingly needed
2. kawaii + has good personality

obviously this certain bitch needs some character building...

ps: i think i need a shock proof phone...

SAMUiii~ @ 17:57

as you may or may not have noticed, blogskin's been changed, again. this time i used something i've used before. originally a Nightmare skin but i don't really know or particularly a fan of theirs so now its a Versailles skin :D.

today tried to finish up on the dnt product but not complete since i don't have the ice cream sticks... what am i to do... sigh. i'm a huge idiot losing the product pieces. i doubt sining even knows what's happened since she didn't even reply my saddening sms which was sent in tears.

finished my home econs food info thing too, finally. extremely late in submission too. all i can do now is hand it in to her quietly and hopefully by thursday she'll forget her anger and forget to flame me ^^|||.

new skin @ 20:40

paid $17 for 'special treatment' today. heart hurts... got my wound dressed. still hurts. there was lots of discharge from the wound.

today finally went for tuition and made up a good enough reason for earlier absences. flu, flu and now, injured ^^. obviously some old ***** was hinting at me to stop going at my own pace and do as she wishes. well sorry, i won't and if you're not going to quietly back off i'm going to get ROUGH~

what does a girl gotta do to get some love and understanding? @ 19:57

Gackt - Koakuma Heaven (live)

@ music station

@ concert

at first i thought this song was way off Gackt sama's style but after a while and knowing more about it i liked it more and more. the song's basically written from a girl's perspective which is strange for Gackt sama to be honest and knowing the meaning i kinda relate to it and the dance? xDDD the dance steps are easy too follow. please don't even try to visualise me following along because i did... for the concert i liked the nekos better than those gyarus. hands off him *******! he looked damn kawaii in the concert too. sigh. fantasies are but fantasies~ sometimes i wish there was some guy in our school exactly that talented and bijin as Gackt sama and Mana sama and many other beloveds. actually next door have lah, next door to the school. Kenn senpai~!!!

KOAKUMA @ 21:57

ohh crap. today fell while doing shuttle run and right about fatimah who too fell. feels dumb. after that no one seem to bother much. seriously, someone ought to let me go home or something like that. then dumb zhongzhong refuse to let me go for lunch even though my cca starts at 2pm sharp and i needed to eat and change just like those people involved in the chinese compo competition. after that wasn't excused from guides and went to health zone to get health badge then came back not let off for foot drill till ma'am was switched. that ******* *****! how dare she do this to me?! ... next week need to make up for the 50 pumpings i skipped out on.

one word for today: ****!!!

don't give me gayshit ya gayish piece of shit!

CRAPiOLi~!!! @ 20:12

today was relatively boring. almost kenna late... then damn cold. regretted not getting my jacket since i'd miss the bus all the same. got my stupid curve ruler but the paper inside is not straight and i can't seem to straighten it out. eat dung fate!

curve rulers are dumb. i AM an artist afterall and should know better myself if i am capable of drawing a curve by freehand... dumbass...

confession: i'm actually a maniacal stalking fangirl xDDD

damn happy and hyped for a secret reason... @ 16:16

stupid old bag. dare make a fool of me? dare gimme the wrong date? ...

i had a bad ache too. somewhere...

need bendy ruler...

stupid loser tan... @ 15:20

i'm telling you, only fools won't appreciate THE LEGENDARY X JAPAN.

generally had a tiring day. thought singapore river was today ;P. last night spent whole night doing town plan and... ermm, playing facebook games...

washed hair before going to school today but was late and miraculously mr singh just hurried me off to class without taking my name down for detention. miracle~

ms yue never come. sick. i hope she gets well even though she's a teacher xD. she's one of the more preferred ones on my chart.

today i witnessed a gruesome enough fight between two amateurs. it was almost like a slapping duel. lol. freaked me out at first though. seeing it made me uncomfortable too. and to think i used to love blood and gore. i'm becoming a bloody hippie...

ps: i've finally come up with a good enough image of my dear sou and winry. in my handbook that is. must scan soon then go on to do a proper one :)

hippie yahyah~ @ 15:59

gems of jrock. must listen if you're not an S.O. :X

just came back, well, a while back from a gathering. its kinda sad thinking of losing someone dear. well, not really losing losing but losing losing. i know, i'm typing crap. she's going back to the philipines but at least she's escaping the cruel hands of the EViL. ms isabel treated us to good stuff today. i'll miss her big time even if i say and seem like i won't. she's a bundle of joy all compressed into that tiny frame of hers.

yesterday and the days before i've been watching paranormal programmes and stuff on hollywood tragedies. it seems like anyone, and i mean anyone could be here this moment and gone the next so whoever it is you have to treasure because who knows how long more you have together unless you were a shinigami who could see the countdown to your final day.

today we went kinokuniya and i saw a lot of my babies. i felt so at home with all the japanese magazines featuring familiar people. i wish i had the cash to buy them anyway...

i'll miss you biggie... @ 22:25

i don't wanna go for tuition. please don't make me go. it's an utter waste if my precious precious precious time ya know?

Ryoujoku No Ame cover by Kenn senpai. and here's proof he's a senpai from beatty just that he's actually from harwood, not fisher.


damn kawaii interview from miyavi. you know how some people can be so random and make you love them whilst others just add oil to the flames of hate? it's just funny.

ps to that special bitch: HANDS OFFA HiM. HE'S MiNE!

@ 13:17

today i got my blouse. damn happy. went with bernice to get it. apparently she came with me because she missed the class outing but i'm happy enough. the blouse was okay just that the sleeves didn't hang loosely as supposed and the collar felt biggish.

today i confessed the truth to bernice. she was understanding and promised to keep it safe for me. good. if it went out, which i'm doubtful of since everyone doesn't really seem to notice or bother about me, it would be embarressing.

one of these days i'm going to wear my blouse out to an event :)

whoopee @ 21:49

today made pasta. shiokshiok. dema sa, by the time we were released there wasn't anytime to eat, only enough time to go down to the canteen and walk back up. pretty pointless.

tomorrow bernice has agreed to miss out on her class movie viewing to acompany me to get my blouse. so thankful. one of the nice stuff she does for me.

i still have a bit of a flu and underestimated myself and ended up using up all the tissues. i still had a bit of a cough too. maybe i should stay home tomorrow... ;P

PASTAAA~ @ 15:27

i wonder if anyone missed me. lol. if anyone even noticed my absence and felt lonely. lol. nevermind. i'm happy being invisible. i guess.

new haircut: nice. had a hairwash too. she was rough wash my hair but did well drying and straightening out my hair but everytime i coughed the people nearby within a mile seem to jump lol. paiseyy lah. somemore is phlegmed cough so it sounds really bad.

i guess i'll be back in school by tomorrow.

winry sama to sou kun. i just can't seem to draw them out as i wished them to be. winry would probably have a more princely aura and sou would be more knightly. sigh.

why would she suddenly talk to me about av out of the blue just because i'm watching a japanese drama? and cosplay too. how am i to answer her? ... of course i know what it is but why would i tell it to her with her status? doesn't she know i'll feel uncomfortable? doesn't she think? this isn't the first time...

2nd day of mc @ 11:55

HEADACHE. @ 19:18

yesterday i woke up from a dream that my mum was dead and was crying my eyes out. this is the second time i remember waking up crying. the first time was abuse from a somehow familiar teacher. this time i think i was somehow influenced by Paris' speach and her plight. goshh.

friday i was retained by mr chia for not doing work. when he realised i was an f9-er in maths he somehow seemed shocked. hey, not everyone was made to be a maths teacher kkay? he couldn't make me stay and complete it because mine was completely blank and it'd take forever for me to finish lol.

finally sgclub's up again. i saw this really pretty blouse and am interested in getting it but that'd mean my wallet would be completely emptied. 'to be or not to be, that is the question...' goshh.

hooked to facebook games. started of with fashion wars then vampire wars. ms isabel's fault lahh. i guess i like the feeling of 'earning money' lol.

yesterday i made my didi wear my mum's nightdress and wig again and he looked as cute as ever. as a boy he never seemed that way. i guess i should just convert him to a girl. lol.

i am a malfunctioning human who has lost all trace of confidence during childhood and is now lost in this unknown place. someone save me from this misery. i wish i had the balls to open up and be what i really am. it gets tiring holding back all my emotions and thoughts. last thursday, i believe, it was ms yue's class and my bladder was bursting and she just kept talking and talking without the sign of ever stopping and i just couldn't seem to find that chance to jump in and ask for the toilet pass. see what lack of confidence does to you. it's worse than you think.

my mum... is dead? @ 14:31

so cool. well, the only cool thing of the day. i heard someone blasting LM.C's hits on their cell during the podcast workshop. i wonder who else in this school shares vkei love like me.

songs i recognized:
88
PUNKY HEART
OH MY JULIET...

some people, like Maya kun, look sweet in pink, some just look like gays so please think twice before you wear that eye piercing pink thing. not all were cut out for the visual look.

i still get the fluttery feeling seeing her. i feel attracted to people who appear to have no ill intentions i guess. lol. good work shining. i did barely 10 seconds of whispering while she did the rest. i'm sorry but this is me.

ps: i'm starting to think i'm not even from mars but saturn.

pss:
a movie in which MJ starred in: the WiZ

Release Date:

24 October 1978 (USA)

MJ liked '24th october' alottalotta~

LM。C @ 18:17

out of the whole memorial that but made me drop one tear drop per eye. perhaps it was because i was sleepy after watching from 1am-4am, maybe i could feel her pain, maybe... it was kind of saddening but for the first time, Paris spoke publicly, she made me tear. gosh, am i the only idiot who napped till 1am to watch it live? LIVE i repeat. ... it's just different when it's live...

those hypocritical bitches using me as a pawn. i'll show you to use ore sama as such. the price is DEATH, not. it's a lot worse than that. stupid guy in black in charge of the NGD workshop. dammit. like i wanted to sit and watch and play dumb. i was being magnanimous, i won't fight with amateurs to play board games, i rise high above that. i'll castrate you and all your male descendents, should you have AT ALL, for all eternity for humiliating me. you're eating my dung for that i tell you. some attention freak comes to school for attention. seriously, it's enough already. go geylang for attention if you need, i think it's $300 per session thank you... :x

i type too much. i'm gonna be flamed for all my inappropriate language that definitely doesn't match up to what you all see in class. push the wrong buttons and i'll shoot dung in you face i tell you.

tomorrow is BYD, i paid but too paiseyy to wear home clothes. i paid because last year i didn't as i was sick on the day of the collection. this year i paid out of goodwill as i know somehow it'll come right back to me xDDD. oh well...

so fustrated. princely WiNRY sama or knightly SOU kun? ... i'd better do a character design for my two fantasy lovers. LOL

'he was the best father you could ever imagine...' -Paris Katherine Jackson. @ 23:02

here i am waiting for 1am to come after having bathed and napped from about 6-7pm onwards. i found out about the live broadcast on mtv and since i have no other means i'll be watching it live from mtvasia.com/mj. @12.44am which is now they have started showing past perfomances so tata~

Jackson Memorial LIVE at 1am @ 00:49

@ 13:36

did more research on MJ. sigh. i got all his songs yay. teehee. -proud-
some asshole taunted me, AGAIN. maybe, idk, paranoia is killing me, can't help to think their 'courtesy' is evil teasing. i wish i had more confidence then maybe i would fit in better... sometimes i wish i could just explain to the world that i'm not unsociable, just overly shy and take damn long to warm up to my surroundings. i'm sorry i couldn't be a better classmate. f-lah. why am i apologising for what i am, look at the other people. yesterday went to Brina's house to supposingly help out with the history project. sorry i'm so useless. her house damn big. my aspiration: to have my very own nest. her house nice, almost got lost finding my way back though. i also found out what kinda stuff normal sociable girls talk about: the boys in class. lol. i felt old listening to them. gosh, i feel aged beyond my years. today was height and weight checking, result, okay. weight, unchanged and SECRET :X, height, i grew taller by 2cm, 165 is the least i must have, so 4cm more. this week when i came back to class, while lining up, i felt like i was lost in a forest with all the tall guys blocking me. seriously, i don't understand why boys have to grow so tall for. i know breasts are for breast-feeding should the time come but their height i don't understand the purpose. MJ's neverland is so cool. a while back i was afraid of growing up too, i wanted to go back to being a child like as though i'm already grown up. i think i should get my head checked. i have worries and thoughts of a grown adult even though i am somewhere in the prime of my youth who's supposed to be doing crazy things with my 'girlfriends' like all others. sigh. GOD save my soul. release me from my OLDness.

ps: today i was late and got detention, AGAIN. one my way to school i saw the place where i would always take the lift up to my grandma's house barricaded and there was this tent as shown on tv used for covering corpses. maybe its gone now but i got scared. with the height of that building it could've been death from falling over. idk. i hope it comes out on the newspaper because i need to know after all i will be going to my grandma's house sooner or later...

pps?/pss?/ppss?: my work is in a mess. all undone and messed up. i'mma DOOMED.

im old. too old... @ 16:20