disclaimer
i do as i please

ningen desu

愛好

visual kei~
Mana sama
gothic & lolita
manga & anime ikemen~

嫌悪

pigeons...

願望

-MAC
-lots of vkei posters
-own room
-work in the creative industry (fashion, music, hair & makeup, manga, writer...)
-MANA SAMA~!
-migrate to japan
-EGA & EGL platforms
-closet full of moi meme moitie's, sex pot revenge and etc.
-find my place on earth otherwise go back to saturn with my hubby
-entire collection of junjou romantica~! EEEK! ecchi~

話。。。

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歴史

February 2008
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August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
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April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
November 2009
October 2010

went shopping yesterday and today, if you can call buying a pair of shoes in central shopping that it... tomorrow have to go back to school for guides thingy... lazy... dunwanna go. TTATT please, don't make me gooo. NOOOO~!!! recently my relationship with my mother became well, felt like friendship~ we've been watching some korean dramas sold cheap at $10. the first one was heartbreaking and annoyingly confusing... didn't like it too much. second one, funny~ through with the first disc, tomorrow after guides watching the second disc. wanted to Kyou Kara Maou but didn't get the time and since i'm watching the korean drama now, that will have to wait >.<

@ 23:54

i snack too much
i snack too much
i snack too much
i snack too much
i snack too much

if only i could control myself better... i still have japanese handroll and jellyfish waiting for me~ >.<

Do you want to grow old with someone or be single?

to be able to grow old with 'him', just imagine the things you could do together~ [ahemm, please don't think 'Y' thank you...]

What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?
sleeping~

What were you doing in last 30 minutes?
watching TV, snacking, msn-ing, sharpening my bloody didi's pencils...

What was something that happened to you in 1998?
4 years old... how should i know?

If you were stranded on an island with the person you hated and without food what would you do?
kill him and have him for dinner~! revenge + dinner, 2 in 1 >.<

When someone catches your eye, do you try to make an eye contact or avoid it?
avoid... scarly he call his gang and humtum me hows?

What color is your comb?
hmmhmm... PiNK~! you know arh, got the shinyshiny, very cuute the have... broke many of it's teeth and always losing it. idk where it is now so use brown one that i found randomly somewhere at home...

What was the last thing you bought?
Lay's and Kraft's chocolate roll thingy~ DAMN YUMMY~

How do you know when you're in love?
my heart will go 'bop bop, bop bop' whenever i think of him... goshh. so shy to say 'cause always think of him so always become breathless...

Have you been to China?
cam back from china when i was supposed to be p3 then kenna drop to p2... WTF, I'LL KiLL YOU BiTCHES FOR DROPPING ME~

Where do you keep your money?
purse, table, pocket...

Last dream you had?
ermmermm... i was talking to gazette's aoi and he could speak ENGLiSH~ freagin' awesome dream if you ask me. and i was shy too in front of him. *blushes*

The thing you love about relationship?
can stare at him until my eyes go 'POP' then can dress lolita with him, hear him play guitar, watch him compose songs, eat curry rice with him, walk around shibuya, travel to europe~...

The thing you love about being single?
can do as i please and don't need to worry about mee Mana sama seeing a certain side of me =X

Do you wanna cut your hair?
dunwan lah~ i wann keep longlonglong then rebond then maybe can cut like Mana sama's kinda layer >.<

one thing you could change in your life.
idk lahx... if can change i would have changed a long time ago.

Do you talk a lot?
no... unless i feel like it which is usually with bernice and she gets fed up and ignores me and I HATE BEING IGNORED... apparently it happens a lot when i try to talk to classmates.

Last thing you ate?
potato chips and chocolate rolls...

Do you believe in love at first sight?
it happens~ what can you do about it?

Favorite ice cream?
nothing too sweet please~

Could you date someone who has been only your friend for a long time?
hmmhmm... when it happens, i'll let you know.

Are you typically a jealous person?
yeshh. i cannot tahan sharing my friends and i don't like my friends mixing with other people...

Is there such thing as perfect relationship?
if have why i don't have?

How important is "trust"?
ermmermm. very important?

Do you chew on your straws?
kinda when i feeling 'boh liao'

What are you going to do after this?
sleep~

What are your plans for the weekend?
i don't even know how i'm going to tomorrow you still ask me about weekend.

What is something you say a lot?
Mana sama & Kenn senpai~

How many hours did you sleep last night?
idk... but i sleep a lot 'cause i get tired pretty easy

Do you notice when someone is staring at you from across the room?
ehh? maybe?

Who did you last talk to on the phone?
berNiCE~

Who was your favorite teacher?
mdm ZHONG~

ALL DONE~ TiME FOR BED >.<

@ 23:52

dundundun... and so today i woke up, watched some crappy TV programmes on okto [ZOMG, why does okto show so much crappy kiddy shows in the morning and afternoon...], ate lunch until 11.59 but in the end reached MAC'S zhiqing was still eating... >.<>.< GOOD IDEA~!!!

@ 22:15

here, bernice sang happy birthday to me, she as rice ball and me as shrimp ass~>.<

went out with bernice [@bernice: you are kinda forgiven >.<], to celebrate my birthday since no one else would celebrate for me. quote by me: you can't choose your family but you can choose your friends. so choose a good one and you'll be happy. had sushi [bought by my sister and jelly beeans] and some vegetable + potato chippies. goshh, now my throat is feel painish, the type of feeling when you're gonna get a sore throat. hahahahaha~ i threatened her. if she ate any other beanies other than orange and yellow i would get to take a photo of her and so she ate so many... and i got so many photos. >.< the power of threat~!!! forced not to display the photos...

@ 21:50

they treated me with disrespect and refused to be kind to me... this is my worst birthday ever... wish i could die, or perhaps never have been born before. for the entire day on my birthday i have been crying and now too. you think you are worse off, you are wrong. this pain is immense. it is overbearing, it is suffocating. out of 366 days, could they not afford to be nice to be nice to me just once? once is all i ask for...

@ bernice: TiLL NOW YOU STiLL HAVEN'T WiSHED ME HAPPY BiRTHDAY. to think i took you as my bestest friend in school and you couldn't even afford to text me a simple happy birthdat or anything... i am disapointed with you...

they didn't celebrate my birthday and yet... @ 15:45

REVENGE~! @_@ @ 23:41

i've had enough of them... always leaving my behind, going out for dinners and outings without me. just one day is all i ask of them, just one day to include me into the family, only today, only my birthday which comes only once a year...

just got news that my mother will be bringing kfc back for me. ZOMG. just now out of anger i threw the phone on the floor now it's broken. now my mother don't humtum me also quite impossible...

birthdays are painful things... @ 18:09

it's my birthday and i'm eating maggi with sourish smelling leftover dinner... it's pathetic.
one thing i hate a lot is people betraying me and lying to me... i really hate. it makes me cry...

yeahh, so no buffet for me... i cried and i'm going to cry again... my mother lied to me once again. i hate it when she makes empty promises which happens all the time.

@bernice: UNTIL NOW YOU STILL HAVEN'T REPLIED MY MESSAGE...
i would've waited for you till you replied you know. you should've at least given me a reply... why do i feel so insignificant...

@ 13:11

this video was filmed to show the man's rythmic stomps made by his boot but end up kenna pranked be some truant playing beattyians <-- TO HELL WiTH YA.

just came back from school... SO UPSET >.<>.<

later going to buffet for my birthday celebration. so looking forward to it...

*upsetupsetupset* @ 11:10

yeahh like the how manieth time... sigh, to all those who wished me happy birthday, thank you, to those who didn't... *eyes gleam* you'll get it from me i'm telling you... jkjk... not like i made a PA regarding my birthday so obviously many wouldn't know. goshh. later in the morning i have to go to school to do the dustbin thingy... gosh. because of some stupid dustbin competition i have to go back to school and ruin my day.

i've been spending all my time just now editing the stupid blogskin. now my back, neck etc is aching...

regarding this entire school year, i must say i've learnt quite a few things aboutt the people around me. lemme see,
shuan meng's a bit cuckoo up in the head,
most of the students in the class are pretty much approachably friendly,
phoebe likes to draw,
shermin likes to play the piano,
zhiqing, tangchen, tengteng are obsessed with basketball [well they're the ones screaming basketball most of the time],

just only kenna scolding by my mother for using the computer. ZOMG. on my birthday some more... crying now, no mood liaoz. byebye... good night~

HAPPY BiRTHDAE TO MEE~ @ 02:43

and btw: TODAY iS MY BiRTHDAE~!

HAPPY HOLiDAYS @ 00:00

HAPPii BiRTHDaE TO ME~~~ @ 00:00

LOL. just edited this. just had to post this up >.<~ guides are obsessive handphone people~!!! btw: sorry for the spelling error, to be corrected as --> imitate

@ 22:51

mana sama and me

tsuyumu sama and me

after learning some basic photoshop skills, i came home and did these two pictures. cool huh? ^^

just now went out to get the shoes~ WTF. so mad. the shoe's condition aren't even 8/10... WTF. that bastard lied to me. the skin's peeling, the sole's coming off. I'LL KILL HIM. sigh, what to do? i was thinking about getting a spray can and spray it black [easier to match] then get the shoe man to glue the sole back on...



pathetic no? here's my ULTRA LONG socks~:
sighsighsigh. bought those crappy shoes... I WANT A REFUND. I DEMAND A REFUND~! or at least some maintenance fee to get it fixed...

about yesterday's trip to healthzone... guess what we got for souvenir. CRAPPY WiPES...
zappy boy... what a tacky name...

this was my midnight supper. if you look back you might be able to link this photo with one of my posts regarding my midnight supper~
my fantastic lunch. all for $3.00 + 50cents because i wanted maggi noodles~ >.< this was my breakfast... yesterday i think. crab meat onigiri bought by my sister for me~ >.< goshh. since huirong got that psp she ignores me >.< Gummies from MiNi TOONS. couldn't resist it. saw it and had to buy it...
yin yang~ can see it? this is part of my midnight supper~
MEiJi MiLK CHOCOLATE~ - nicenicenice. wanna buy more >.<

thats all for now... tomorrow is meet the parents session. ZOMG. O_O||| WHAT TO DO?!!!

regret the shoes... @ 17:38

i seriously doubt i'll be getting any presents from anyone in my class... TTATT. birthdays, the best thing about it is the presents. yes, i am materialistic, TOO BAD. sigh, never mind if they don't know or remember my birthday either. saves me the akwardness of people singing the birthday song to me...

realised i was kinda blind, without bernice. i didn't see the traffic lights. i walked when it was red and stopped when it was green. goshh. something's wrong with me. that was yesterday anyway. today went to healthzone. never change lehx they. still the same boring old stuff. i used to play there like always when my mother worked at sgh's rehab [i think]. rehab sells wheelchair and stuff in case you didn't know. saw lots of disgusting pictures which in the past i never realised what they were. goshh. talk about gross. those pictures should be sensored if you ask me. [rotting private parts >.<]

goshh. so excited. tomorrow getting the shoes~!!! kyaa~ i can picture myself walking around the place in them.

ms tan says she doesn't have my report book and told me to find it if not i won't get my result slip back. just because she doesn't have it doesn't mean i have it. i remembered borrowing it once to photocopy and returned it to her. HOW CAN iT BE WiTH ME? =.=''

@ 17:37

sighh. today i had quite a bad day... or at least the earlier part of it. kenna scolding and beating from my mother but nvm. i've been trained to be able to tahan the worst of weathers and everything else [except stress] so no problemo. so during the evening i spent it out with my sister. dangg... now i realise how much i miss her. i realised that at home i get kinda lonely and when my mother returns from work i do silly things like dance about in front of the tv and annoying her. sigh, just goes to show how lonely i really am.

miss tan says she has given my name to the school counsellor and insisted that i needed professional help. goshh. i've been to plenty of counsellors and i seriously do not need professional help.

goshh. i am currently watching pan's labyrinth. DAMN FREAKY. i don't like it...

@ 13:23

what the hell issit with you all? how the hell does Mana sama look like the word Mama san? they're like 2 different things from 2 different worlds~!!!

Mana sama is a talented man also my idol whilst Mama san is... read this:

A mama-san, or mamasan, is a woman who works in a supervisory role in certain establishments in East Asia, typically those related to sex work, but sometimes in drinking places as well. Papa-san may be used to refer to a man in a similar position. The drag-dressing male proprietors of okama bars are also commonly referred to as Mama-san.

To at least some extent, these can be considered the local equivalents of a pimp or madam, although the conventions of bar fine prostitution in Asia are quite different from those of either street or brothel prostitution in the United States.

Mamasan (sometimes abbreviated MMS) is also used in United States to refer to the woman managing the staff of Asian massage parlors.

The term originally comes from Japanese, where it is a term for a woman who works as a supervisor at a bar, nightclub, brothel, or similar business. The suffix -san is a polite honorific attached to a person's name or title. The familiarity with the term by U.S. soldiers in Japan after WWII probably has had some influence in its spread to other Southeast Asian countries.

It should be noted that the term mama-san in Japanese is emphatically not a polite reference to a mother, and should never be used as such. Most Japanese children today call their mother mama, but the term does not persist into adulthood. The proper term to refer to one's mother, in Japanese, would be okaa-san.

While the context may be referred to as a sex term in some parts of Asia, in others the term has a much different connotation. The term mama-san is commonly used to describe maids and housecleaners.^{[citation needed]} The term papa-san is detailed for men who work on yards.^{[citation needed]}

understood? say i like mama san again and i'll knock your front teeth out~!!! no joke. serious. insulting me or my idol is a big nono. especially if you don't want to die yet.

sighh. now i am really worried. on the last day of school it's going to be teacher-parent meeting. both ms tan and my mother are 'iron women' and so i am hoping nothing bad happens. if i really get demoted i don't know what i will do. i can't even handle the students in express stream how am i going to handle the wild crazy n(a) students? they are always running about and shouting shoving and pushing one another all over the place and calling each other nasty names... die ler die ler those kids will kill me...

my birthdae coming. ani1 wants to buy me ayumi's complete all singles as my present? =xxx @ 21:34

excuse me for my inappropriate language but i am VERYVERYVERY angry and therefore lotsa angry mean words are coming out. okayy. this is what happened;

as usual i am eating at my grandmother's place for lunch. nothing wrong with grandmother feeding her granddaughter right? [as in giving me food not stuffing the food into my mouth for me =='] so then my bloody uncle, aka my mother's little brother, came in. he had a fight with my mother the last time when he stayed over at our house because he had just came back from china and my grandmother had rented all her rooms out to tenants so no room for that bastard. and so, he came like early in the morning or was it somewhere around midnight? and so i woke up to my horror, there was a pig. he came during my june holidays which more or less ruined my entire holidays.

stuff he does at my house:
eat our food without permission
hogs my computer to go look for china 'chio bu's [wait till the china 'chio bu's realise he has neither money nor looks]
hogs our housephone talking to multiple china babes and china people. [he's obsessed with china people...]
pokes his pig snout into our family affairs
sleeps on the floor in our living room [blocks my way when i wake up. damn, then i have to walk around him...]
cooks rubbish with our food. [what a waste]
and many more annoying stuff... [what a relative~]

and so he quarelled with my mother because he was over-using the phone and speaking too loudly then he broke the lcd of my laptop and like most of the computer. sighh. and so he got angry. left the next day. came back once only to take his stuff and guess where he stayed at? my grandmother's place.

so today, HE iNSULTED ME, iNSULTED MY ENTiRE FAMiLY, WAS RUDE TO HiS MOTHER, MY GRANDMOTHER who gave birth to him, took care of him even till now when he is almost 50. almost 50, no wife, no children, not even a place of his own. flies over to china, comes back penniless... what a loser. and so therefore, i was so upset by his rudeness i really felt like grabbing the kitchen knife and thrusting it into his fatty heart. i hope he bursts a blood vessel soon...

I'LL KILL THAT *SSH*LE~!!! @ 20:15

w00t. got the socks, gonna get the shoes next week. sigh. SO EXCiTED. next week is also my birthday. if you remember and you take me as your friend, you would probably say 10 nice things to me. that's all i ask for. sigh, but who will bother? nobody... nvmnvm. sighsighsigh~ today i got thrown outta my seat and my original seat became a hot spot for future gamblers. =xxx~ oops. jkjk, number game sia. number game sia~ no gambling... and so, today was an unfruitful day. so many teachers not in school, supposed to be fun budden in the end, like SHiT der lors. nthn to do... sit, stare, copy, listen, sleep, read <-- all that i've done today.

bored. I WANNA GET MY SHOES NOWW~ i can see myself walking around in the house with my shoes on~ this year der EOY MUZZ GOO~!!! although not a complete lolita, almost also canns bahx? haha...

regarding spamming. actually i don't mind if you spam me, as long as is not nasty and rude spam. sigh. dunno why 'some' people make such a big fuss over spam. tagbox/shoutbox/shitbox/whateverbox are there for spamming. no? dun agree? nvm. so close-minded der some people...

LOLiTA iN TRAiNiNG @ 22:10

KYAAAAAH~ MOTLEY CRUE IS COMING TO SINGAPORE~!!! goshh. if only there wasn't a show in tokyo then maybe, Mana sama would have to come to singapore to watch them live and i could maybe stalk him around~!!! hahax.

sighsigh. today went out wif dear huihui. bought the socks from alcie san~. nice but now that i think about it, maybe it's too warm for singapore. i'll just have to wear it in the night then. hahax. how am i going to explain to my mama about how i got it? sigh. nvmnvm. say bought at junk sale. =x... first time in my life i called a stranger and met up with one and saw a lolita up close. cool sia~. okk. on my way home, in the bus, i felt like an INDIAN MAGNET~!!! goshh. i waited in the sun for the bus and finally, i thought i could relax a bit when a really huge indian granny planted her ass beside mine then a mother and her toddlers behind me. the kids were kicking my seat and pulling my hair then also will suddenly scream into my ear. HELL SIA. then one indian man go sit in front of me. then today, the outside the ntuc at toa payoh's underground passage, SMELL LIKE SHIT. someone probably shat there and ended up must clean top to toe the place. so smelly. then my house the lift, 1st floor der lobby, smell like pee. actually, it always smells like that...

Oct 16, 2008 Singapore SG Fort Canning Park @ 21:35

SO EXCiTED~ imma getting these pair of socks this sunday from alcie san~ ^^ buying so many stuff recently. =x

@ 21:37

juz came back from a scrumptious supper of half boiled egg, toast, carrot cake and hokkien mee. and it's like 12.50am? hahax. im going to be fat but who cares, this is life, do what makes you happy...

@ 00:50

aural vampire is AWESOMENESS~ make me wanna dancedaNCE~ LOL.
in case you haven't noticed, the music on mee blog is AURAL VAMPIRE~

@ 12:20

just found out about the youtube audio preview thing. press it and it reads your comment even vulgarities. WAHAHAHAHA~ 'i am a retard' <-- it read this too~

did you know? miss tan rides a bicycle to school? i saw her today zooming away on it. what a shock

WAAH~ SO FUN @ 00:56

finally, the exams are over. i know, i didn't do very well and the chances that i stay back one year or drop to n(a) or even n(t) is VERYVERYVERY high but now that it's over, there's no point worrying over it like shit. all i can do now is work hard next year and do better next time. seeing all my classmates fretting over the questions just after the test makes me a bit guilty and yet wonder what's the big deal, doesn't matter since it's a for sure thing that all of you scored so muchyy bette than me. i feel that our life span is like only a short 60-70 years, why live it like a slave doing things you don't like and worrying about every single cockroach out there <-- [i am joking about the cockroaches]. i want to live life as i wish and do as i please [not bad and illegal stuff, don't worry] and do something meaningful, to me at least. no point wasting 1/7 of your life slogging away studying things you're not in the least interested in and worry about your employer's mood everyday for the rest of your working life. then, having to worry about whether your children will look after you in old age. i see so many pitiful old people out there. their children probably abandoned them or something and yet i can't do much because no.1, i'm just as poor and no.2, there's just too many of them to help. think about it, they spent their entire life taking care of you, working their guts out just so that you eat well, sleep well and get a god education and when you become older, you think, 'hey, i'm independent now, gimme money, i'll buy whatever i want and do as i please~' think about how the money was earned, think about the blood and sweat shed just to earn those few dollars. then when your parents become old, you find them a bother and send them away to an old folks' home or even, forget about them completely and leave them to fend for themselves. those people who do these things, where's your conscience? eaten by the dogs? pitiful ugly souls... you deserve death.

@ 00:06

waaah~ soo cool. avenged sevenfold seems like a nice band, close enough to the type i like. the reason why i'm posting about this band is because they are performing in singapore on my birthday. another special thing happening on my birthday is:
tadaaah~ cool hor. not like i like the movie but the OCT 24 really caught my eye~!!!

@ 19:37

• passer stop acting...
  ban delete

  Details

  2008-10-06 7:11 PM

  ^^^ WTF was this for? what does stop acting mean? am i acting? no, i don't think so. i am not an actor so i don't act. bloody arse. let me catch who you are and you are going DOWN

  
  

  and so something very tragic happened. my backspace button fell out and now i can't press it. TTATT <-- pathetic right? why did i have to play with it? why did i have to take it out? ZOMG.

sigh. so dao mei~ i think i saw an abuneh~ peeing. ZOMG. sickk der lorx.

@ 19:31

我现在真的好难受呀。。。一直留鼻涕，满桌都是用过的纸巾。连地板也有。天啊，我为什么会这样。明天要考GEOGRAPHY。好不想读书呀。多一会儿就是SUPERBAND的大决战。异世界一定要加油~！现在我正在听VELVET EDEN。算了，跟你们说了也没用因为你们大多数都不懂得ViSUAL-KEi 所以理所当然地你们也会对我所提到的音乐家都感到谋生。。。

异－世－界；加油加油加油~！！！ @ 18:53

one of my favourite album for now~! i sosososo der wanna go to the tokyo decadance and party my heart away~! feeling a bit dramatic now. MUST LiSTEN HOR~!!!

@ 15:05

26 SEPT FRIDAY - EL PPR 1: 1H 30MIN 0815-0945 (E) (N)
EL PPR 2: 1H 30MIN 1045-1215 (E) (N)
29 SEPT MONDAY - MTL PPR 1: 2H 00MIN 0815-1015 (E) (N)
MTL PPR 2: 1H 30MIN 1100-1230 (E) (N)
30 SEPT TUESDAY - MATHS PPR 1: 1H 15MIN 0815-0930 (E) (N)
2 OCT THURSAY - HMTL PPR 1: 2H 00MIN 0815-1015 (E)
HMTL PPR 2: 2H 00MIN 1100-1300 (E)
3 OCT FRIDAY - HISTORY: 1H 45MIN 0815-1000 (E) (N)
6 OCT MONDAY - GEOGRAPHY: 1H 45MIN 0815-1000 (E) (N)
7 OCT TUESDAY - SCIENCE: 2H 00MIN 0815-1015 (E) (N)
LITERATURE: 1H 30MIN 1100-1230 (N)
8 OCT WEDNESDAY - MATHEMATICS: 1H 30MIN 0815-0945 (E) (N)

*ALL STUDENTS TO BE BACK AT THEIR RESPECTIVE EXAM VENUES 10 MINUTES BEFORE THE COMMENCEMENT OF THE SECOND PAPER.

EXAM SCHEDULE @ 23:39

finally i AM BACKK~! why i sososo long never online? because internet was down...
siian. now all the shit i wanted to blog about all forgot liao. ==''

i AM BACKK~! @ 21:09

i wonder if you've forgotten our friendship. i really wonder. now have i become someone distant from you? someone you do not wish to be with? i really wonder, if you've forgotten about me like all the other people whom i thought were my friends. maybe i was destined never to find a true friend. i envy all those who have friends to be with them. i really do. you do not realize that i actually cry to myself softly while you leave me behind. of course. you never know anything. i wish i could find someone as loyal as i am to be my friend, to be beside me when i need her, to cry with me when i am sad, to laugh with me when i am happy and i will do the same for her.

@ 23:00

could it be that i've relied too much on you? to have counted on you too much to be by my side forever? i am always there when you need me but when i needed you, where were you? enjoying yourself with your other friends? leaving me to eat alone. do you know the pain? the lonliness? i am disappointed but what can i do? i love you too much to restrict you. maybe i shouldn't have treated you so well. afterall, you won't stay long. you'll leave me like all the other friends i thought i had.

i am sadd and disappointed... @ 19:45