Sunday, 10 August 2008
i never wanted to hate her. but it is hard when you are not appreciated, not cherished, not loved, not wanted. my mother, although i tried to understand her plight as to why she is easily angered and that having 3 children, she cannot give me all her attention, to love me and to care for me but she constantly beating me and yelling vulgarities, making me feel bad about myself, it makes me go crazy. sometimes, i cry to myself, but who knows, who cares, even if i did seek help, even if i did tell someone, it still would all be my fault, my wrong. it does not matter anymore. i am tired and i just want to lay down and sleep forever and ever. there is nothing in life that excites me anymore, there is nothing in life for me. there is only pain and suffering. to be despised and hated. this is my life after all. never mind. you will not understand. no point singing to the cows. no offense, i did not mean you, i think.
@ 22:03
