disclaimer
i do as i please

ningen desu

愛好

visual kei~
Mana sama
gothic & lolita
manga & anime ikemen~

嫌悪

pigeons...

願望

-MAC
-lots of vkei posters
-own room
-work in the creative industry (fashion, music, hair & makeup, manga, writer...)
-MANA SAMA~!
-migrate to japan
-EGA & EGL platforms
-closet full of moi meme moitie's, sex pot revenge and etc.
-find my place on earth otherwise go back to saturn with my hubby
-entire collection of junjou romantica~! EEEK! ecchi~

話。。。

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歴史

February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
November 2009
October 2010

after going out with bernice to have a cup of bubble tea and a waffle, i felt much better. sadly my mother and sister were upset that i had gone out to eat. they had brough kfc for me. but it was the $3 meal and the drumstick was taken from their meal. then the food was soaking wet because the drink had spilt all over it during the journey back... nvmnvm...

btw: there was this truck which had OMG on it. really, no joke. i wanted to take a picture of it but there was an 'abuneh' sleeping in it so i didn't dare to... OMGOMGOMG

waaaah~ @ 21:26

they scolded me for going out. but how can they, am i supposed to stay at home and die of boredom and lonliness?

wth @ 20:59

why am i always being left behind? always, be it in school or at home, i am always left behind. is it because they did not realise my presence, did not realise my longing to be with them or they were trying to block me out of their seemingly perfect lives. in school, i always see them laughing away heartily and i envy them and wish to join in but i am afraid to reach out and ask, afraid to be rejected and humiliated. at home, they are always going out for family outings, am i not part of this family? after i try my best to tidy the house and be the perfect daughter, am i not welcomed to come along? they never thought about me, about how lonely i would feel home alone... and they say i spend too much time on the computer. what am i to do? no one else cares about me enough to listen to me.

@ 17:58

yaySs~ me and huiirong opened a blogshop~ please visit: Daddiee's Little Gurl

@ 14:12

zomg... effin' jui called me again. and once again i didn't realise it until i saw it under missed calls. like i told him sososo many times not to call.
i'll castrate you~
don't want to heed my words then pay the price you freagin' thing a ma jig...

s2pid brother of mine. always creating trouble for me. i'll kill you one of these days! just you watch out~~~ you might just see me on the headlines tomorrow or some time soon...

@ 21:51

STUPiD EFFiN' BLOGSKiN or whatever may be the problem. i know i posted more than that in my previous blog entry and it's been cut off or deleted by itself. i'm going to change the skin already. so soon, yeah, i know, but it's giving me a lot a lot a lot of problems~

@ 12:27

WTFWTFWTF~ stupid TianTian~ she wanted to buy this pair of SHUUPERR FUGLY pair of earings, (at least it looks SHUUPERR FUGLY on her). after she put on her SHUUPERR FUGLY earings, i met debbieee~ lols, yeah, with an unknown guy. i know i know, none of my BS so thats that. anyway, so today after the really long and boring teachers' day concert me and pamela went to eat NOOODLESSSss then went to MCS. she insisted on taking 2 buses so that she didn't have to walk so much. OMG. THAT COSTED ME $1.20... then so we went to MCS and met many BELOVEDSss.
F*CK THAT BITCH-ASS SONIA MOMOMO~ HOW DARE SHE SLAP ME FOR NO REASON?!!! SCREW YOU GANGSTA WANNABE. STUPID AH LIAN, PROBABLY WOULD THROW HERSELF AT ANY GUY. HOW DARE SHE CALL ME LAME. LAME-ASSED BITCH-HEAD HAS TO SLAP SOMEONE WHO IS TOLERANT (thats me) JUST TO BOOST HER LOW SELF-ESTEEM. THINK SHE VERY CHIO ISSIT? WEAR THE SHORTS AND THE SLING BAG, ALL THE FATFATFATSss ALL ZOU GUANG LERR LARR!~
and yeah, i saw all my belovedSs. i realised that i lovelovelove hugging yiqing~ <333>

@ 19:15

Thursday, 28 August 2008

ATTENTiON EVERYBODY~
TOMORROW IS ACES NOT RACiST'S DAY~
PLEASE DO NOT GO HOME AND THiNK OF ALL SORTS OF iNSULTS TO (obviously) iNSULT PEOPLE OF OTHER RACES. THOSE WHO DO NOT HEED THiS NOTiCE WiLL BE SENT TO DETENTiON FOR LiFE!

lol~ this is for fun. did this because i though it would be funny. but hey, seriously, it's not racist's day you know. fine, getting boh liao~ better continue with my S2PiD situational writing...

@ 23:45

tomorrow is aces day~ siian. should i be excited or should i just ignore it like a normal school day. i'm only excited about the early dismissal and visiting my primary school. everytime i go back, i'm treated like a celebrity and i enjoy that, maybe i'll bring some goodies for them, yeah, i will. shitshitshit~ i still have to do my situational writing and arrange my file. but never fear, i had a long nap, i should be able to overcome those 2 thinga-ma-jigSs.

a certain person has been confusing me... all the words and actions, i do not know what it is up to.
another person, has been troubling me, i never know what's on it's mind and always worry, it's always getting mood swings and things...

i am using 'it' so as not to give you hint to who they are...

@ 21:22

Tuesday, 26 August 2008

An Cafe cosplayers. eh? where's kanon?

waiiil~ today ET scolded me very badly and very loudly because i repeatedly forgot to hand in my assignments. all along i have been very afraid of, i wonder if she knows that. she has this habit of wearing all black which adds to my fear. her dark red lipstick too. OMG. it's as though she's dressing this way to frighten me on purpose. and so, today she scolded me, so loudly that all the other classes along that corridor could hear her louad thundering voice. i was crying and shivering. she was terrifying, the loud voice and the grabbing of my shoulders really scared me. it was like as though she was going to push me against the wall or something.i kept inching back as she came closer and closer. i am not sure but i feel that she's especially fierce to me, and bothers me a lot especiallyregarding my homework and stuff. maybe it was my fault for being lazy, but i can't help it, my mind is occupied with other stuff that are more important to me.

anyways thanks to all the nicenicenice people who comforted me today. i never realized they were so nice. i sure hope they would treat me with such kindness everyday (pretty impossible isn't it?).

@ 17:52

Monday, 25 August 2008

GANGURO~ (if im not wrong) SHIBUYA FASHIION RAWKS MY ASS!!

WALAO~ yufang aka fishroom (nick given by bernice sama) has been ripping my pictures. my hizaki hime, she stole, now my bou kun, she also wanna steal! how dare that fishroom!!! RAWRR~ she's gonna pay, i bet she doesn't even know what she's stealing and that the pictures she's been stealing are all boys and from visual kei bands. now she's telling me that it's not certified mine. wHat Da HeLL! of course i have the right to protect my precious VK-yians from the claws of that fishroom. damndamndamn. i hate people who steal stuff they don't even know of. it's just S2PiD~

@ 23:20

even if they say ethe'Real's not good, i'm telling you, THEY ARE SHUUPERR~ shuuperr cute dance with shuuperr awesome song + outfit. ETHE'REAL IS LOVE~ L-O-V-E LOVELOVELOVE!!! WTF. my crazy fangirl disease is acting up again!

@ 21:02

WTFWTFWTF
my myspace, there's something wrong, i can't send comments nor messages, now i can't tell tsuyumu san about singapore's visual style bands. T.T

@ 20:27

Sunday, 24 August 2008

i feel lazy lazy and just lazy. i am still eating my dinner, yes, i am. stop staring. it's not weird nor is it out of this world. i realized that i really hate males. all but JRockerSss who are beautiful and just immortal. weird but yea, i think all the males that i see in my life are scums and deserve death. i really wish to be able to sing well, or learn the guitar because i wanna form my own visual kei band in future. for now my voice sux, so does my singing and you do not, i repeat, do not wish to hear me sing. i realized my voice is stupid and annoying too so do not ask me why i'm so quiet because i'm keeping quiet to avoid shocking myself with my shitty vocals. shit ass unfilial uncle of mine. crashed my computer and is now using my grandmother's. i knew i should have told my grandmother how badly damaged my computer was and she would've given me hers and that shit ass uncle of mine wouldn't get to use it. i hate him... he's thick-skinned and has no respect for anyone, not even those who helped him, much less his mother, my grandmother. everytime i see that asshole using my grandmother's computer like nobody's bussiness i feel like walking up to him and giving him a punch. what more he's the one who told me my voice changed which is as good as telling me my voice broke. I AM NOT A BOY, MY VOICE DOES NOT BREAK AND IT WILL NEVER~ i'm sorry my voice is not high-pitched and sweet like a whore... that's just too bad. FREAK ASS JUI, MY VOICE IS NOTNOTNOT DEEP, even if it is, you do not have to spell it out. you are stupid and gay and a total wannabe + despo and unwanted ass so you are no better than me. one day i'm gonna form my own band and become global and then have my own concert and i'll show you bitches and bastards what i really am and from my grand stage i'll look down on your puny little thick-skulled heads and spit shit at you! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

@ 22:00

Thursday, 21 August 2008

i wanted to be knocked down by a vehicle and not by some dumbass dorkhead. yesterday i was walking walking walking to my chinese class when i reached this turning corner/point/wateva u call it and this shitface stinkass ran right into me... =___='lll lame right? ya.

btwbtwbtw: kei kun really sang as kaya and spoke as kaya as i requested. what a friend. and jun and sam liked my fanvid. yays for me! lols

@ 18:17

Wednesday, 20 August 2008

yays. today i made a fanvid for ethe'real. i felt guilty for not being able to do much for them. even my fanart were no match for the other fans'. i don't even contribute time or money. so i decided to make a fanvid for them which i'm pretty sure will not be the best but at least the first. please view it and comment.

@ 21:41

Tuesday, 19 August 2008

maths test~ w00tSs. sigh. all were pretty easy or so i felt except for the simple equalities. damn. it ain't no simple at all der lor. that word simple is but a disguise for EXTREMELY DIFFICULT! after calculating my potentially wrong answer and minusing their marks from the total score, i realised that i got like less than 10. sigh, i try sososo hard and yet, i still fail. who told them to set so many of the 'simple' equalities. anyway all thanks to kei-kun i didn't sleep. i did the test with his encouragement in my mind all the time. it's good to have friends but many a times the ones who hurt you most are your friends because they matter. the moment you open yourself up to them, you become so trusting and weak. you trust them so much, that they will stay by you, and in the end only to be more than disappointed when your feelings are not returned. maybe this only happens to me...

@ 22:25

Sunday, 17 August 2008

lols. this was grabbed from aish's blog. i was supposed to have a session with them but i overslept and missed the opportunity. they seem like really nice people. i would've bombarded them with questions about japan shubuya and visual kei. lols. i think they wouldn't want that and yet they might share something with me.

@ 01:42

Saturday, 16 August 2008

sighsighsigh. how could i be sososo silly. yesterday, i talked to this guy from friendster who got my msn from friendster [hahass]. i find that he's very gay and despo at the same time. little bit only say i bully him then say what call me to be his girlfriend [lols]. so random. now i have his cellphone no. [he gave me, i didn't ask for it] i will prank call him. [hahass]. his voice is like a kid's too. lols. have yet to break. another funny thing. my best friend [from flickr] who likes almost the same things as me and which i have always treated as a girl, a person whom i can confide to in girl things, is a boy. lols. unbelievable. i didn't ask for his gender and all along assumed he was a girl. like mr. wong says, 'assume and you make an ASS of U and ME.

@ 21:24

Friday, 15 August 2008

the following below is grabbed from youth.sg. he's too much for me to write about.

Think there’s no one to turn to? Feel insecure and insignificant? That was how Glenn Lim an ex-drug abuser felt in his younger days. He has since become an anti-drug ambassador, a counsellor to other drug addicts at Teen Challenge and founded Awakening Productions which organizes gigs for youth to express themselves.

I first met Glenn at the *scape lunch at Coriander Leaf and was introduced to his works. I’ve always looked up to those who are able to walk out of their decadent life and yet be able to share courageously with others of their life experience. Glenn was one such person so I decided to watch the movie – Green Grass – the true life story of Glenn Lim.

This movie ties in with the Green Grass Project, which is a series of launch events and screenings that will take place at various institutions, schools and community platforms in Singapore.

Green Grass features a teenager in a world of his own. Caught up in drugs, alcohol and rock music, Glenn left home when he was 18. His mum was an anxious mother constantly nagging at him while his dad was a silent parent - never questioning nor quering about Glenn’s life. His younger brother was a model student and Glenn’s parents were constantly comparing the two siblings. One day, he left his home to pursue his dream of being a rock musician. He came back with drugs 2 years later and was nearly sentenced to life imprisonment. Miraculously, his life sentence was reduced to 6 months. Since then, he has left his old world behind.

now my turn:
today he came to my school to do a talk. he was really inspirational and motivating and really woke me up sia~ he's an interesting person who will entertain you with his past experiences too. he talked about his life which was really 'colourful'. his sense of humour was just so, so, i dunno, entertaining. he talked about this pink cell too for jailbirds who create chaos in jail. it was just as i guessed, pink. hahasss. i'm sososo clever. anyway, it was just great to see him. he talked about the half-way house too which he stayed at and which i visited, i think last year.

NEW CRAVE~
ESP jeune fille X Gips

BODY :	(Top) Hard Maple (Back) Alder
NECK :	Hard Maple 3P
FINGERBOARD :	Maple(Black Paint), 21frets
INLAY :	jeune fille
SCALE :	648mm (Long)
NUT :	Lock Nut (42mm/R2)
JOINT :	Bolt-on
TUNER :	GOTOH SG360-07
BRIDGE :	Kahler #2315
PICKUP :	EMG 81
CONTROL :	Master Volume,Master Tone PU ON/OFF Switch
COLOR :	Gips White
PRICE :	871,500 yen (Include TAX)
	with Hard Case

MANA-SAMA'S GUITAR!!! i really like his white one. sososo pretty. $11,000+++ sia. expensive and not like i can play the guitar.T.T

what kenn-senpai has:
top guitar: edwards - DDR 300 - SD pickups ( Sh1n / Sh6b )
bottom guitar: fernandez - la115kk
Boss - GT-8
Blackheart - Stack Amps

more about top guitar:
same as his admired guitarist, Die, from Dir en grey. it's about $4000-$5000+++ if i am not wrong.

EDWARDS E-D-95DR

BODY :	Alder
NECK :	Maple
FINGERBOARD :	Rosewood , 22frets
SCALE :	648mm(Long)
JOINT :	Bolt-on
TUNER :	GOTOH SG310-07
BRIDGE :	Tune-matic / Tailpiece
PICKUPS :	(Front) EH-1G (Rear) EH-1G
CONTROL :	Master Volume , Mini Toggle PU Selector
COLOR :	Metallic Dark Red
PRICE :	99,750yen (Include TAX)
	※この商品はSuperLongではなくLongスケールです。

Green Grass @ 03:14

Wednesday, 13 August 2008

that was funfunfun. know i know how fun it is to spam. i was spamming wif good buddy, Moi Dix Mois - Mana from flickr. we did lots and lots of rpg. rp-ing, mana, kozi, kaya, k, toshiya and many other Malice Mizer and Moi Dix Mois related people. there was also kamijo from Versailles. we spammed and spammed until the maximum messages allowed to be posted in an hour reached, 60 messages. so now i brought back the old shoutbox for spamming parties. though not as good, better than nothing... hahasss.

@ 20:27

waha. i am THE SLEEPING BEAUTY. lols. okay, maybe not beauty lar but never mind one lar hor. lemme saysay and shuang a bit can right? sighs. yes, slept during art lesson. too bad! who ask the weather so warm, make me so sleepy then draw what stupid pear. I OFFICIALLY HATE PEARS!. bleuhs. still call me wash face. never mind also lar, take it as an outing, walk one round then come back to class. hahasss... yays for me. i have this sense of achievement. from doing what? i finally understood that stupid linear graph thing and know how to do it. i also did all my homework yesterday and never kenna scolding today. but being so guai everyday is tiring. i will do my best though, SO MUST YOU! ganbatte~

@ 16:46

Tuesday, 12 August 2008

:DSCHOOL CONFESSIONS
[x] Talked back to a teacher. yes, kinda.
[x] Been kicked out of class. for repeatedly not bringing/doing my homework. yes, i've always been like this and am notorious for it.
[ ] Worn pajamas to school. i don't think i wanna do that.
[x] Had your tooth fall out at school. when i was in pre-school and student care only, or at least that's as much as i remember.
[ ] Gotten lost in your school. i don't remember doing that.
[x] Broken the dress code in school. socks and collar button? other than that i'm a pure guai kia!
[x] Completely failed a test. very often, in fact for my recent geography test, i got 2/20. hahasss. no joke!
[ ] Left class without asking. don't remember doing that either.
[ ] Missed a whole week of school. nah. wanna try that soon though.
[x] Thrown up in school. yepp. when i first came to beatty after my posting, i puked. hahasss. bigbigbig mess. once more during science lesson (in MCS), for no apparent reason.
[x] Fought at school. fighting in student care counted?

HOME LIFE CONFESSIONS
[x] Argue with your parents a lot. that's for sure.
[x] Argue with your brother(s) a lot. this is also for sure.
[x] Argue with your sister(s) a lot. yes, i argue a lot.
[x] Do your own laundry. depends on what you mean. i put the clothes in the washer, put the soap and turn it on, counted?
[x] Cook dinner once in a while. i cook rice. ^^
[x] Are loud and obnoxious at home. that's what my mother says...
[ ] Wear pajamas when you are not going anywhere. i don't really wear pyjamas.
[x] You sleep in very long. when there's no school or if i oversleep.
[x] Your parents are separated. ya, so? doesn't bother me too much.
[ ] One or both of your grandparents live with you. nope but i go to my grandmother's house almost daily for lunch. (yea, i'm a freeloader.)

FRIEND CONFESSIONS
[x] You currently dislike one or more of your friends. you can't like everyone. not that i hate that person.
[x] You are jealous of one or more of your friends. hoho. but of course. look at the state i'm in and them, there's sososo much of difference.
[ ] You have known a friend your whole life. nah, usually my friends only last me at most, a few years only.
[ ] Your friends are all taller than you. lucky for me, no.
[x] You have been ditched by a friend. very often.
[x]You have memorized a friend’s phone number. yepp. i memorized bernice's cellphone and housephone. want me to recite it? 814...

[x] You have lost/forgotten a friends phone number. i'm a messy and forgetful person, my things do not last long. usually it's just somewhere at home.

[ ] You have been to all of your friends houses. nah. but i wanna try that.

HABIT CONFESSIONS
[ ] You bite your nails. nope. i find that gross and unhygenic.
[ ] You have an odd obsession with giraffes. nope.
[ ] You cannot sleep with the door closed. i must sleep with the door closed or all the cold air from the air-con will escape!
[ ] You cannot sleep with the door open. doesn't bother me. after all, i'm asleep!
[x] There is at least one sound you cannot stand. screechy sounds like metal utensils being scratched against a porcelain plate.

LOVE CONFESSIONS
[x] You currently like someone MANA-SAMA~
[ ] You want to kill one of your ex-s. no ex to kill. you should be grateful or i would've killed them all. mwuahahaha- oops. got carried away.
[x] You can stay committed for an unusually long time. ask Mana-Sama and you'll know.
[ ] You get bored of your crush/bf/gf easily. i don't know...
[ ] A crush/bf/gf has called you a bitch before. curse that asshole. i would have turned him into a eunuch!
[ ] A crush/bf/gf has called you self-centered before. stop asking me already. i haven't had an ex!

HAVE YOU EVER CONFESSIONS
[ ] Fallen down the stairs. nope and i don't want to try it. but then again, maybe i do wanna try it.
[ ] Someone has tied your shoelaces together. someday, i'll try this too.
[ ] Had a nail fall off. that would be just painful.
[ ] Had surgery. i don't wanna~
[ ] Slapped someone across the face. my brother. i can slap him many times in a go. he would just cry his eyes out and struggle to retaliate. mwuahahahaha. i am the EVIL BIG SISTER!
[ ] Killed someone. i might sooner or later.
[x] You have been to Europe. when i was a little kid? that's what my mother told me.
[ ] You have been to Canada. i wanna eat canadian pizza! 2 4 1!
[ ] You have worn something inside out for a whole day. i would change it back immediately!

fine... so? no one passed this quiz to me but i was bored and what could i do? just randomly take this quiz lor...

@ 22:54

waha~ powerpuff shark gummies~

we are cursed by the moonlight~ sounds familiar? maybe not for you...

the shadows

my didi and the shadows~ spoooky~~~

the legendary claypot noodles that i so love. YuMmSss.

the crime scene.

white mist. OMG! a ghost? the ghost of the traffic light...

DO NOT CROSS. CROSS WITH CARE. DO NOT START TO CROSS. and here comes the random person coming out of the car...

random motorbike. maybe it's mr singh's? OMG! jianguilerlar.

meowSss.

Bubble Tea. Bubble Tea. seeing doubles? believe it. you are.

SMILING FEET. make your feet smile all day long. hahasss.

waffle stuffed in a straw. bleukSss. bernice sama's special style of eating. actually, i like it too. hahasss.

this thing. i hate it. i was walking to school one day when a bus drove pass me and bernice and over this wretched bottle which squirt out some gross-ifying white watery thing-a-ma-jig. all over me! ewwsss.

do you spot the wretched thing?

beattyian shintaro~

he just loves cam-whoring...

the emo venting her anger on the bubble tea... hahasss.

once again, my beloved claypot noodle.

ultra-man emo. jiangjiang! power pose!

bernice blowing a paper bag. hahahasss.

this bus is the bus i used to take when i was primary 2,3.

golden pig stuck to the ground waiting to be found. hahahasss.

kuro neko seXxxy pose!

quit staring at his ass. i meant to take his cute widdle paws you pervo!

yays -MANA-SAMA Visual Kei- yays

*runningrunning*

once again, MANA-SAMA Visual Kei

55th anniversary yays! beatty school magazine out in the wild!

do you feel the lonliness? do you feel, alone?

i just find these pictures sososo pretty. don't you think so?

!OUTTA THIS WORLD!

!OUTTA THIS WORLD!

sleeping beauty~

a rainy day...

a rainy day, a pair of dirty shoes. hey! those are my shoes!

do you notice it? the lines on the ground are blue not yellow!
***

stupid fat assholes who cut my queue during recess. stupid shitty bastards... there were so many today i cannot remember how many i met. sigh. how many more of such people must i meet? damn. got my results back for shitty geography and hey! my results are as shitty as geography. 2/20 and i'm proud. okay, whatever, scold me if you want. i have lost interest in my studies. during chinese exam, i fell asleep and i already had so many blanks dueto my not knowing the answers then some more i go and sleep so no time to finish the remaining questions. damn. mdm zhong sure hackhackhack me into tinytinytiny piecesss. MY LIFE IS IN A MESS!

@ 19:33