ViSUAL KEi <3

Thursday, 22 May 2008

my dream wedding... i wanna gown like this one, the one my dream, meesh Mana-Sama, is wearing. with blue roses scattered all over the cathedral. walking down the lane with meesh Mana-Sama... what a dream~ i could just die in peace if that ever happened. and euu who's reading, please don't laugh at my dream because i know that euu, deep down, have your own embarressing lil dream.

PLS watch the following video... rlly amusing, Malice Mizer @ the park

Kourakuen '98 - Malice Mizer
Part 1

Part 2

my dream wedding @ 00:08

Wednesday, 21 May 2008

just realised that the boy who died a while ago lived just opposite my block. i knew he was nearby but not that near. just imagine, open your front door and you are reminded of his pitiful death. his young yet poor soul, crushed just like that. he was young, he must have had dreams, hopes, aspirations, and yet, gone just like that, a pitiful death, a short life. it's sad that such things happen. things such as unnecessary death caused by the breakdown of a human soul, the twisted mind of a criminal, the most fatal accident. gone just like that... it's a sad sad thing.

OMG @ 21:18

you are disgusted when others speak ill of you and betray your trust and yet you do it to others. what difference does it make you from those low-lifes? no difference at all for you have brought yourself to such level for the sake of popularity. to stay within the 'cool' gang, you betray friends, you lie to your parents, you insult the innocent. is it worth it? perhaps yes to those blinded by lust. it is a disgusting behavior not only found amongst children adn teenagers but amongst adults too. it happens everywhere and all the time. is there no end to this human ugliness? this act of utter disgust is despicable and dirty... i am not claiming that i am anywhere better than you but high-lighting what has happened to this seeminlgy pefect society. but, is it perfect? no. it is tainted in the sins of mortals. lust and greed. rape and murder. robbery and theft. all sins. all sins of whom? of us. yes, we preach of good, but do we do the 'good' that we have preached? most of the time, i see not. there is no use in claiming how untainted and pure you are, because, we are all tainted and dirty, by the sins we have committed.

this world lies. nobody tells the truth. they all where masks to cover their true forms. their ugly forms that they do not want you to see. they all have secrets. secrets they do not want you to know. secrets even they do not want to know of. not even you yourself tells the truth. you lie. you wear a mask to cover your true form. you ugly form that you do not want anyone to see. you have secrets. secrets you do not want anyone to know of. secrets even you yourself do not want to know of.

this world is full of illiusions created by greed, lust, desperation and so on... everything is fake. nothing is real. it is all a scam to destroy you... a scam. an evil scam to get you.

the LiViNG are as good as the DEAD
the DEAD are as good as the LiViNG

@ 19:38

Monday, 19 May 2008

look at Reita! so cute beside Hello Kitty... he looks so innocent, like a child... wat a dream~~~

jus had ta put this up... @ 22:15

found alice's body but wat use... how to stick it back... T.T

found it @ 13:32

haha~yesh! finally teased my hair. wat i've been getting wrong all this while ish der comb. now i've got the comb but still can't do spikes but at least i can other stuff. in fact, lots of stuff. i really feel like going out and showing my hair to the world. sorii for the coarse language in the past few posts but i was really angry and u wldn't noe the feeling unless euu were me. aniiwayz, meesh hair ish prettii cute now. not for schling tho, BaBooSingh gonna whip my ass if he sees me liddis~ hahas~

yay~ meesh hair ish teased-finally @ 13:21

Saturday, 17 May 2008

a mockery i have become... im tired n fucked up. i wanna sleep 4eva so say ur last words to me or i'll never get to hear them. i... i dun wanna leave dis shell ever again. i embarressed myself in front of freaking' neighbours who sing karaoke 24/7 and shout outta the windows day in and out. they dare tell me off and lecture me bout making noise? uc, they jus got told off by the town coucil so they're pretty 'good citizens' now. my epic ass~ i hate them and wanna them to die before my vry eyes...

i made a fool of myself. @ 16:24

fucking mother of mine. lock me out. fucking neighbours, so noisy still dare say me noisy later ppl call police. fucking chee-bai. make so much noise dare to say me. fuck-face la all of u. fuck off. my life so miserable. no body care about me. not even my sister whom i trust so much. fuck her la. i hate her. i hate everyone. they're all fucking assholes. at least i broke my fucking mother's window. now aniione can open the door through that window. i'm more than satisfied. i hat them all. you hate me, it's fine because you don't matter to me aniimore so i do not care. you can all go to hell with me. i wish i could just die like that boy who died yesterday and lived just a few blocks away from me. i wish it would all end. i'm a troubled person but who else is there who would listen and help me. no one. they say they're there for you but no. they lie. they all lie. i hate them . i hate you. i hate my life. i hate this world. everyone is corrupted and sin. i hate them all. i wanna kill them all. i wanna let them know that they are wrong. i want them to learn their lesson. that they cannot do this to me. i hate to say this. but i don't care about you all aniimore. just like you don't care about me at all, not even in the beginning. it was all fake. none of it reality. happiness is but a lie. e beautiful lie that hurts. its an image. an image people think up to give themselves temporary relief. but somehow, this relief never comes to me. aniiway i got told off but fucking neighbours who finally learned their lesson after the police came after them. but so what, i don't care about them. i will burn down their flat so that they know that they cannot do this to me. they are no one to me. they are the noisy ones. they are the ones who should die. die. they should all die out. i shall kill even their children. i am really depressed and angry now but do not worry. i will kill on one even though i said i would. i give you a chance now to repent. you had better take this chance or pay with your wretched soul.

i will kill euu~ @ 15:56

nyah nyah~ Maya's voice ish so cute. rlly likey this song. i rlly wanna noe when meesh Romeo will come and do all my hw and gimme tons of good food... ahahahaha~ sounds more like a trouble-ridder than a dream boi. yesh cos now what i need ish a trouble-ridder, not a stupid lover boi. i wanna run from reality, i wanna destroy my fears, i wanna become happii but it will never happen. that is, for now. so now i can only talk giberish to myself. i seriously dun get why girls go all crazy about the bois in school and think about boyfriends. those petty bois will never be able even match-up to my dreamy Kaya, Mana, Gackt, Hizaki, Jasmine, and so on... i think i like pretty bois... really femine type... haha~ dun laugh, cos if u do... u are asking for trouble!

Labels: japanese, Jrock, lm.c, oh my juliet, Visual Kei

LM.C Oh My Juliet~~~ @ 14:44

Wednesday, 14 May 2008

why do some idiots get everything i could ever want. life's not fair. they get looks, money, health, talent, friends and family. i envy them but also want to kill them. they are but a reflection of what i am not. they remind me of my pain and misery. one day i'm gonna kill them all, end their silly days of happiness. the world lies to you. nobody tells the truth. they all wear masks to hide their true form. then under their disguise they bring you to a certain ectasy only to drop you from a skyscraper leaving you shattered. they say things behind your back and expect you not to know. how can they do this. they deserve a fate worse than death. aniiways~ gotta go clean der dishes. curse you later...

life's like dat... @ 21:01

Sunday, 11 May 2008

and this is what left of alice...

onlii head no body TT.TT

her hollow head screams in pain but i can do nothing for i have lost her body... sorii alice TToTTlll

got beaten up real bed today. the weapon was a badminton racket so now my ass, my leg, my fingers all hurt. my finger are even internally bleeding. its so painful dat my fingers have become numb. my father's not coming back, my mother doesn't care 'bout me, my parents are both as good as dead. but yet i'm still being physically tormented. i dun think i can go for NAPFA this week. my eyes are swollen from crying but luckily my fever's gone done. it's 'bout 37.5 now. but haha~ i've gotten an MC so i dun ahv to go to school on MONDAY!

forgotten or not @ 11:27

Saturday, 10 May 2008

went to the doctor today. u wldn't believe she was a doctor. as much as she's small and skinny, she's tanned and muscular and outspoken. totally scared the shit outta me. realised my fever was 39.6!!! my bro's was 39.4!!! going crazy... gonna have to take my medicine and sleep soon...

note: BEANIE! if ur not coming online now im going to bed den... im sick u noe, i cant wait for u the entire nite!!!

still sick @ 23:11

Friday, 9 May 2008

sick... so sick... pain... in pain... misery... feeling imense misery... 2day im not feeling well... fell asleep during maths then chinese exam and didnt finish the comprehension at the back which couldve helped get back a little bit of marks. iwas so waiting for someone to realise that i was sick but no one realised. peraps they thought it didnt matter as i always looked like that. had terrible headache then a fever. now i so feel like dying. the pain in my body, the heat in my head, the cold in my toes is driving me crazy. i dont feel like going for tuition tomorrow but the teacher has already told me to be there. not just that, i have loads of homework that im not sure of. i feel helpless and tired. i have yet to finish my dinner and my eyes are sore and watery. i want to fall into eternal slumber. haha... not emo, just sick and fed-up with life...

sick @ 21:20

Thursday, 8 May 2008

dun think i dunno wat some of u say behind my back. u think im as dumb and as deaf as u all, u're wrong. i hear and see the things u do so u better be careful if wateva ur saying or doing concerns meand is negative. i noe wat u do... i see wat u do... and i've been hearing things 'bout me being emo. i am not ok? it's just dat i stay up late on the com, washing dishes, clearing the laundry, packing my bag, doing my hw, tidying the house and making sure my brother is doing his job too so i usually end up sleeping at 12-1am. i m not a very easily socialable person too, i noe dat but i m not emo. perhaps i think a bit more than u all so u think im emo. no, i m NOT! i dun tok much but dats not 'cos i m emo, trying to be mean or stuck up but becos i've always been this way. unless i've known u for like a few years onlii will i scream at the top of my lungs at u. somehow my voice jus doesn't come out ok... i dunno y too but u shld try to pay more attention to me when im speaking so dat u can make out wat im saying. i m not a bully either. some of u apparently believed the rumours sponsered by supposingly sarah and alicia and dat jus means u dun actually analyse ur info b4 u record down that info. do i look like a bully? have u seen me bully anii1? if ur ans is no then gd for u cos u shld be able to realise that

I AM NOT A BULLY AND I NEVER WAS AND NEVER WILL SO U BETTER GET THAT 'PAULINE IS A BULLY' IDEA OUTTA UR PEANUT-SIZED BRAIN!

but there is a reason i guess for sarah to spread her 'disease'. there was a time when me and my friend had a misunderstanding and that friend of mine is the type who will say that kinda things. 'sarah, pauline bully me!' is most probably wat she said but i think u shld noe that we've made up alrdy so that was jus cos she was angry with me ok? besides if u say bully, then i must tell u dat i have been bullied b4. many of the student care children wld gang up with this kid and tease me. when i 1st got my specs in pri 4, i will nvr 4get dat STUPID NICHOLAS hu planted the nick 'amah pauline' into evry1's head and so i was known as dat until all the students of that era had left or 4gotten 'bout that stupid name. i play rough with my rlly gd frens hu can emotionally and physically take my game so if u see me 'beating up' my fren, its a game. but most likely u wont c it now that im in a mix schl. u c, the frens hu oso went to beatty with me were not my best of best frens and they dunt exactly like playing rough and so i dun play my game with them. oso, the girls in a mix schls dun rlly play my type of game so, again, u wun c it happening. gd... i hope u r enlightened... 'grrr...' wat was dat? dat was me stomache... its now 6:08pm and i have yet to eat lunch, tea or dinner so naturally im rlly hungry. u may begin to notice dat im always hungry but im not a glutton, jus i dun eat at irregular hours so suddenly my stomache rumbles its not cos i eat a lot but becos i din eat or din eat enof...

haha~ thx for reading but i suppose most of u wldn't have read this post becos it looks long and boring but thx if u did and spread the word that i was not a bully so that i can clear my name and that im not an emo kia, jus that my level of thinking is way higher than urs and if i look moody, it could be dat i din hav enof sleep. if im ugly and u think i look like some animal, den too bad for u cos i was born this way and it cannot be changed unless u sponser me plastic surgery (not like u look anii better or r perfect>:P)

not emo ok? @ 17:45

Wednesday, 7 May 2008

*sobsob... Bebe says many dun believe in Sarah's lies and misunderstanding but Guai Guai says many actually believed Sarah and Alicia actually said so too... for the last time, i was not a bully... in fact i kinda was bullied and that resulted in my introverted character. luckily got some ppl hu c the light and din believe that crap. ok, maybe sometimes i play rough but i do not bully. if fact, i can't stand bullying especially if it's an entire class/big person against one person... i really dunno why sum actually believe that crap. my behavior in class, does it seem like i bully? if i'm close to you, i might slap ur back a few time a dat, punch ur shoulder once in a while, kick your ass when i feel like it but not if u're physically unfit to take that kinda game. so, conclusion is:

i am not a BULLY!!!

haha...found out that Xian Xian is really funnii or is he really just weird. discussing 'bout vampires then he describes 'the teeth like (what) wolverine', then he 'bites' TC on the shoulder and then so on... he's pretty funny...

they're al lies... @ 22:18

Tuesday, 6 May 2008

yay~ finally no hw... well there is but not due tomorrow... and yesh, 2day im using the com like never before and supposingly gonna sleep earlier today to catch up on me sleep... *sigh... Bebe says i have panda eyes. *sobsob im finally getting the consequence of sleeping bloody late but its not like i want to. its just that there's so much hw im going crazy and staying up late to finish it least me head gets cut off before i even graduate from secondary school. o well, i guess the panda eyes could gimme the 'smoky look' which means i dun have to put make up... hahaha~ vry funnii... yesterday me schedule went a bit haywire. when i reached home at 6:30pm, i fell asleep almost immediately and after that i woke up at 12am to bathe then do hw and blog... hey, i think i mentioned this in the previous post... o well, no harm repeating it huh? did hw blogged a bit, watched some An Cafe vids then went back to sleep at bout 3am only to realize that i still didn't get enof sleep after all that extra irregular sleeping hours. hoho~ so now im gonna treasure this day of no hw. *sigh, even if i say no hw dusnt mean no chores, after this i gotta wash-up, wash the dishes then finally go to sleep.

*boohoo~ jus found out me mom dropped alice by accident, her entire head came off. she's made of porcelein after all. gonna go to sleep now that i've washed up... Zzzz~

yay~ @ 22:13

haha~ yesterday i oso wrote a song... here's the lyrics. no actual song 'cos i dunno notes and ya, even if i came up with tune i wld forget it in a second so its as gd as no tune... did it during class, haha~, when i shld be paying attention to the teacher.

Love is DEAD:

Since the day you walked out the door
My heart was left pierced and bleeding
With no other cure than time itself
You left me cringing in agony
As my knees hit the ground
I was already forgotten
Now I've become nothing but a mere memory
a thing of the past

Since the day you walked out the door
Love is Dead
Since the day you left me
Love is Dead
Since the day I saw your true colours
Love is Dead

You entered my ice-cold heart only to crush it into bits
You'll never the know the depths of my pain and misery
A last apologetic smile was your last gift to me before you left me in despair
You buried me under the Earth and left forever
Maggots creeping all over me, in and out of me
And yet the only one I ever longed for was you
You who had forgotten me
You who had left me here
Behind in the cold
Beneath the Earh
You'll never know the depths of my pain and misery

ps: i m not emo-ing or aniithing. it didn't happen to me or whatever either...
just an inspiration and an urge to write it ok?... *sigh, you ppl are always getting the wrong ideas.

Love is DEAD @ 01:59

nyaaah~ so unnyappy 2day... so much ok maybe oh shit, just remembered, more hw than i thot. fell alseep soon after i came back, just woke up, bathed blogging soon i'll be working me ass off after finishing with An Cafe's conert in FRANCE~ woohoo~ boohoo~ No Bou, No Life but still 'No Life' life goes on... you just gotta carry on... many think death is escaping this world and your problems but not so... death is actually the judgment of your soul and what you've done when you were alive. you ending it foolishly is dicredit to you and will not show well of you... whatever... enof of this death tok. gotta finish me bloody assignments or get me ass whipped tomorrow...
btw: happiness within misery, misery within happiness...
you will always feel a sense of the other evne without you knowing it. but i sure don't find happiness within me misery of hw... *sobsob... it's not like i have a choice, do your work or be punished and after witnessing me teacher's cruelty, i think i had better stick to doing me hw... haha~
NYAPPY~≧∀≦

tired~ @ 01:15

Sunday, 4 May 2008

as tho i dun hate u enof... now i gotta research on some stupid wet rice cultivation der~ urgh!! how m i supposed to noe or have to noe aniithing bout it. if i have to noe then u teach me, why mus ask me research dis research dat der... i dun even noe wat it is... stupid geography...

stupid geography... @ 13:58

Saturday, 3 May 2008

haha~ well, me and homework may seem like friends who go way back but
homework and i do not mix
and that's 'bout what i wanted to say. got loads on me back currently and am wondering why some can actually finish 'em all without breaking a sweat... haha, a round of applause for those miracle workers... haha dats all for 2day.

homework n me @ 20:14

Thursday, 1 May 2008

saw it? yesh... u saw it. i straightened her hair.

alice with straight hair.
alice, coke n me...
va-nilla cok~

alice with curly hair.

alice & Mana-Sama

alice & Mana-Sama: Sweet Style

alice: Sweet Style

alice

alice alice n more alice

alice with curly hair still

alice & Mana-Sama: Sweet Style

alice: Sweet Style

alice once again... she's so photogenic sia~

beattyian!

u jump i jump. splash!

alice-chan kawaii neh~

more alice...

Mana-Sama~ haha i set as wallpaper der!

beattyian alice with Mana-Sama

once again... alice & Mana-Sama

haha... mii diidii watching TeeVee

guess wats in the cup... nope... not tea... it's coke!

haha... psl chekchek gimme der...

kyah~ alice & mana-sama!!

sho much hw n i've yet to start on them... sobsob... if that's wat holidays are for then i might as well not have them. poemspoemspoems... i've been writing so many darn poems over the past few days. it's really getting on my nerves. best part is i forgot to bring back my chinese workbook with 3 chapters to be done. i'm gonna die 2moro... i also straightened alice's hair... so please take note of her hair when viewing the fotos. yesh, i noe, doesn't look too good but dusnt matter.

argh!!! hwhwhwhw + fotos i took this morning out of boredom: @ 17:28

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